Community of Healers :: Forum

Contribution [by siteadmin]

Thu, 21 May 2009 10:31:53 -0000

Community Practices:: Contribution
This involves continual effort to do our part to help others, our community and our planet. It returns to us by helping us to stay out of victim-consciousness, and by keeping us alive and energized. It can be an expression of gratituted and thus lift us up into a higher level of consciousness.

Positive Interactions [by siteadmin]

Thu, 21 May 2009 10:13:29 -0000

Community Practices:: Positive Interactions
We need to be intentionally encouraging and supportive of each other. Sometimes this means withholding our negativity, knowing it is ours and ours alone, and that there is no benefit in expressing it to others in a way that may discourage them. Other times it just means genuinely appreciating what someone has done or said - anything about them really - just looking for the positive and expressing it.

Responsiveness [by siteadmin]

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 20:53:26 -0000

Community Practices:: Responsiveness
This is about not abandoning each other. Even if we can't have a lengthy response, even if we are needing to set a boundary, it is really helpful to let others know that that is what we are doing so that they know that you matter to them.

Recognizing when Triggered / Self-Awareness [by siteadmin]

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 20:52:56 -0000

Community Practices:: Recognizing when Triggered / Self-Awareness
In addition to being important for our own healing, this is so important in how we interact with each other. The sooner we realize that our reaction to something / someone is because we see something that looks like something that happened to us in the past, (it's a bunny rabbit, not a lion), the sooner we can heal ourselves or seek help with the healing, and prevent lashing out at or causing harm to another.

Non-Judgement [by siteadmin]

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 20:52:22 -0000

Community Practices:: Non-Judgement
In order to create a space for people to share, we need to not judge each other (or ourselves, for that matter) for what we have done. Most people, if not all, who have done harmful things to others, themselves, or the planet, have themselves been harmed and are in need of healing and compassion, not someone telling them (or thinking) how bad they are

Non-Contention [by siteadmin]

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 20:51:52 -0000

Community Practices:: Non-Contention

There are many ways in which we invite contention, conflict or argument: stating opinions as though they are facts, talking about politics,, religion, abortion, or other heated issues, saying what is true to us as though we actually know and anyone who disagrees is wrong. Using language such as "What I believe is ...", "In my opinion ...", "... most likely", "I'm pretty sure that ...", and "... as far as I know" (just to name a few), can greatly help to temper conversation; as well as avoiding heated topics.

The thing to remember is that what you don't know is a whole heck of a lot bigger than what you do know. If we keep this in mind, it can help us to humble and realize that what we believe is usually not necessarily right or true, so much as the way you we things from your limited viewpoint and experiences, which are inherently different from others'.

Kindness [by siteadmin]

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 20:51:17 -0000

Community Practices:: Kindness
This is part of consideration, but a little more. Kindness is letting ourselves express our caring by way of actions. It can also be a form of forgiveness, treating someone well even if they aren't doing what we want or think they should do.

Integrity [by siteadmin]

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 20:50:53 -0000

Community Practices:: Integrity
This is simply about doing what we say we're going to do. We need to be able to rely on each other. It is so easy to say, "I'll call you later," when we really don't have time later. It's easy to say, "yes, I'll be there," when really our schedule may change and it may not show up. Instead, we could say things like, "I'll call you later if I get a chance," "maybe we can talk later," "I'll be there if I can," or "I'll be there as far as I know right now."

Honesty [by siteadmin]

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 20:50:23 -0000

Community Practices:: Honesty

How can we possibly trust each other and feel safe if we aren't dedicated and committed to honesty? This doesn't mean cruel bluntness, of course. We don't have to tell someone if we don't like their shoes. We do need to tell them honestly things that matter and to not lie. Some people, if not all, have an internal lie-detector, and even if we're consciously fooled, somewhere inside we usually know if someone's lying to us. So the mistrust is created.

Now then, how can we know what to share and what not to share? We all filter what we say to others. If someone asks us what we had for lunch, they don't need or want to know every last detail, down to each ingredient in the bread, mustard, mayonaise of a sandwich.

I would propose that we use these types of questions to filter our communication in the context of a healing community.

Am I triggerd? - Frist and formost, we need to check in with ourselves and our energy. Are we over-reacting to something in the present because it looks like something in the past? If so, it's so important to get grounded and centered before communicating and 'being honest' when really we are intending to lash out. Overall, this question helps us to be sure we have a truly positive intention in our communication.
Will this information be of benefit? - In addition, what is the likely outcome of this communication. How will it be received? Will the person know that I care about them and be able to hear and understand my positive intention.
Would this person want to know this? - Sometimes we have what may be considered bad news by another. Some people are more clear than others thaty they want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. For example, if somoene is on vacation and you talk and their dog died, you may withold the information until they get back. But all the while, you are in a sense being dishonest in this way. While it may not be of benefit in your opinion, for the enjoyment of this person's vacation, if the other person would want to know, wouldn't it be best to tell them? For all you know, it may be better for them to process the information while they are away.

Balancing these last two may not always be clear-cut. These are just some thoughts to help us to be honest in a helpful way to others.

Gentleness [by siteadmin]

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 20:49:35 -0000

Community Practices:: Gentleness
This means not only not lashing out in anger, but also really considering the delicate nature of some of the parts of us that need healing. Gentleness is also sometimes very important in the next practice, honesty.